The Katio Show

2002-10-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

I'm off to the final fontier or something: a private blog.

If you're seriously dedicated to knowing what's going on in my life, uh, e-mail me or something. Just make sure I know you. I'm not giving the address to just anyone. Me and my standards, huh?

'bye Katio Show. You I'll miss you and your mocrappity templates.

2002-10-04T19:12:00.000-07:00

I need to blog. Like...now. Or Averie will have my head, yo.
Mood: Canadian!
Sound: IM 'ding!'

In two years something so major will change the course of my lifetime...and you don't get to know about it! Mleh!
Sorry folks. It's top secret. But let me give you one little clue: Canada. Oh heck, here's another one: Willie Aames. Okay, so Willie isn't a clue, but he was so cool on Charles in Charge, eh? New boy in the neighborhood, he lives downstairs and it's un- okay, okay. I'll stop...CHARLES IN CHARGE OF OUR- ...oh, you hate me don't you?

School is relatively easy. I hate Algebra, though. Good thing I've only got TWO MORE YEARS OF IT. Sigh. I luff Language Arts. It's really easy. You read, and show that you understand what you're reading. That's it.

I feel like a big nerd because I'm in love with Adam Lamberg. Even he's too old for me, at eighteen. When, oh when, will I find a guy who is my age? Probably never because fifteen-year-olds are such immature poop-heads.

I want my The Drew Carey Show script. Someday it will be hanging on my Canadian mantle.

Such a dork, I know.

I've got to go compare Cleveland hotel prices...later days (hahahahaha! Only big, Disney watching dorks would get that one, right Jason?)

...'bye.

2002-09-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

Oh, Shawn Pyfrom, what's up with you stealing my heart and making me luff you? You're only a year older than I am! This doesn't work! Dude! He he...sorry.

I wish he were a natural red-head though, like his role of Danny on the made-for-TV movie "Come on Get Happy: The Partridge Family". Awww.

2002-09-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

STUFF HAPPENED AND THEN I BOUGHT KITH MERCHANDISE...W00T
Mood: KitHy
Sound: Having an Average Weekend

Yesterday, for the first time in the history of the world...I drove a car. What the!
Yes, it's true. I did it and I enjoyed it..better yet, I enjoied it. Yeah, that's the ticket.
And this morning I ordered a bunch of KitH crap. It's for my Christmas presents from mum. I'm tired of getting stuff I don't want, so she was like "Fine...get whatever you want."
"The crap":

The Wrong Guy on DVD. Steff, eat your heart out. MWA!
The Best of the Kids in the Hall on VHS
The Best of the Kids in the Hall: Season 3 on VHS
The Best of the Kids in the Hall: Season 4 on VHS

Then of course there will be my loverly Tour of Duty DVD and probably another T-shirt. I slowly work my way into "Whoa...you're really into this crap" fandom!

2002-09-16T07:16:00.000-07:00

THE COMMENTER IS GONE FOR GOOD.

Sorry. If you were in love with it, I...well...I don't know what to say. All I know is that it pisses me off how much the server goes down. I done..done...if you need to e-mail me, please feel free.

2002-09-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

WHAAA?
Mood: I had two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches fer breakfast..bleh
Sound: Come on E- uhhh...I mean...uh, lesse, how about some random Tool song. That ought to make Steffy happy!

I'm very angry at myself. I'm enjoying Algebra. Damnit. I suppose the reason I didn't like it last year in the first place is because the school thought I was a genius in every subject and stuck me in advanced math and I was like "huhhuhuhuhwaitwhathuhuhuh?" ...indeed. So now that I'm getting individual attention and they have the time to pay attention to me, I've been put into basic Algebra. I'm not embaressed at all, if that's what some of you think. God no. I was embaressed when I couldn't do the work...so I says to Mabel, I says...
Am I the only fangirl out there who sometimes looks at Craig Northey's journal and says quietly to themselves, "Whaaa?"
Take this beautifully worded, but still confusing entry:
Draw your own hand drawing your hand. Talk about your tongue. Stare at your eye in the mirror. Smell the inside of your nose. Your mouth is full of spit. You must swallow it all day. Get your heart to think about each beat. Breathe in a casual and unimportant way. Listen to the microphone. Get out your Eno records.
I mean, really...who in the hell is Eno?

2002-09-16T00:32:00.000-07:00
I pre-ordered the Tour of Duty DVD. I rocketh. Woosha!

2002-09-16T00:05:00.000-07:00
BRUCE RECYCLES JOKES BUT I DON'T CARE...TRA LA LA.
Mood: Um...freakified
Sound: Come on Eileen- Save Ferris

Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
Moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried
Sang along, who'd blame them
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers

That's my theme song...for no reason at all..mwahahaha!
Okay, sorry.
Um, let's take it from the top. First of all, although I'm sure Mr. McCulloch did try his best, Stealing Harvard was, at most, a very, uh, intelligent (?) teen movie. Plus, even though "it's not a Tom Green movie", I must wonder why in the hell Tom was given so much screen time if it wasn't for him. Jason Lee seemed like he wasn't allowed to perform to his fullest comedic potential. And this was the first time I've seen the man in a movie so I'm not sure...but I wish he could have gotten more jokes instead of being left as, well...the stright man. Ooh, but I don't think I laughed as hard at any other joke (yes, even the "Steve, Kyle" joke..fo' reals) when Mr. Lee muttered "bastards" angrily about the insurence companies. It's just that he seemed so convictional about it...gahd.
Ahhh! It's Fidio (sp?) the lawyer! A doppelganger (there's that word again) for Bruce...with more hair! Ahhh! Brandie and I screamed when we saw him. Throughout the entire movie we had been trying to figure out where Bruce would appear. I thought for sure he'd be in a dress...or play one of the cops (wishful thinking..sigh). I luff that man. When he's not being "an arrogant asshole" (ha ha...newsgroups r00l), he rocks my socks in such a way that I can't wear socks anymore!
What the! A Kids in the Hall, Tour of Duty DVD? MWA! Too cool! Steff, we musta start the countdown..with a whole lotta milka (yes, I finally saw the sketch. I get it, I get it! Yay for getting stuff!)
Even though we strayed only a little...let's get back to Bruce...twenty-six years older than me Bruce...Brucio, member of a two-man posse (which, if all plans work, I shall join)...Bruce, whose Conan interview was nice..but not great. I had been expecting so much more from it. I mean, two of my favorite guys bantering back and forth for five minutes? What could be greater? Well..apparently Joey Fatone (I can only remember how to spell his name because of the "Fat One" joke he made) from *NSync.
Am I the only one who would die if Kids in the Hall popscicles suddenly went on the market? What flavors would they be?
Anyway, I conclude that Stealing Harvard, if at best, will only do as well as Super Star did. I can kind of see how not being a KITH fan can make it hard to sit through the film itself. Brandie and I were almost weeping on Bruce's behalf when we saw teenagers with short attention spans ditching out early. Others stayed probably because they weren't about to waste ten bucks...ha ha, Coronians are so cheap. I was being obnoxiously Katio-like in the theatre. When some ditzy adoloscent called out rudely during the movie "Tyler! Over here!", I couldn't help but shout out in mimic "No Tyler! Over here!" Which resulted in a couple more calls out to precious Tyler from around the theatre. Five minutes later when a girl was still beating the dead horse, I had to put an end to it all with "No Tyler! The joke is dead!" Ha ha...I love it when so-called "class clowns" are embaressed.
Oh! And when we were at the concession stand, the nice little acne-faced boy who conned me into buying a jumbo popcorn I couldn't finish and a large soda ("You get free re-fills!") was great fun. He went along with every stupid thing Brandie and I said..and stupidity was in vast amounts that fateful friday the thirteenth. The only nay-saying I must do about the lad is that when he gave me my fantastic free re-fill, he gave me Coke instead of Mr. Pibb...oh..for shame, movie-boy...for shame.
All in all, the movie-going experience was great. I get to say I was the movie on opening day and Brandie gets to say that she saw Jason Lee in a dress...it's all good, homies...now...Save Ferris, play us out!

Come on Eileen, oh I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen

2002-09-11T18:05:00.000-07:00
Quick little note!

The Sit-down Comedy Club has an official website!

It's for Monday Night Prerecorded...which is...I dunno...an elaborate riff of Saturday Night Live? Alas, I am not an original cast-member. If I were though, I'd be Gilda Radner!

2002-09-11T00:33:00.000-07:00
WELP...IT'S SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH...
Mood: I...um...I don't know.
Sound: KITH theme

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel right now. All I know is that I'm happy that I don't have a school to go to today. I wouldn't be able to take all the crying like last year. For a few months everyone was numb and it wasn't uncommon for people just to break into tears. It was horrible. The entire country, if not the entire world, is going to be in a state of 9/11 frenzy...sigh. I do so hate being so deep. And I know millions of others will be talking about it. I'd rather listen than talk on this subject...let's move on.
Averie was an extra on the Drew Carey Show. Holy crap, no one can understand how freaking fantastic that is to me. I'm virtually unable to keep my emotions at bay about this. I mean...MAN! Drew Carey! I've had like, the biggest crush on him since middle school! His is one of the first sitcoms I really ever watched. And Whose Line is it Anyway? sparked my interest in comedy altogether. I mean, Ryan Stile's SHOES sparked my interest in comedy! ...well...not really. But anyway.
He he...ew...the drummer from Smash Mouth, was it? That still cracks me up, Ave.
Dead dead...dead dead...dead dead...dead dead...
I'm trying these little garlic tablets. They're supposed to aid in clearing up acne. Le sigh, yes...and I have a few. Sometimes I feel like kicking God in the sac for creating puberty.
The days grow nearer to the opening of "Stealing Harvard". I'm so excited. Sure, some people (or as I like to call them, the lucky motor foking bastards) have already gotten to see it...well...I'm going in on opening day, a bag of Sour Patch Kids stuffed in my pocket and Bruce on my boob (ha ha...T-shirt joke. Woo, nevermind. It's just the Mountain Dew speaking..."It's just the Mountain Dew speaking"...do I sound like a soda lush or what?), ready to scream for him when his name comes up on the opening credits. Oh Brucey boy, I'm readeh for ya'.
Turns out my grandpa is going to be buying a car and...surprise surprise...fixing up my Ford Tempo (or as I like to call it, my crap car)! How excitin'! I might even be getting a CD player...but I shouldn't keep my hopes up about that. He he.

2002-09-09T12:24:00.000-07:00
I'M NOT AN IDIOT, I'M NOT AN IDIOT!
Mood: Non-idiotic
Sound: 102.7 Kiis FM (radio station)

I just took an IQ test. Apparently, mine is 147...I'm in the "gifted" zone.

Who knew?

Welp, back to home study! Wee! Math is over! Time for Health! Yay!

RANDOM FACT: I'm not stupid!

2002-09-08T22:23:00.000-07:00
HOLY MOTHER...I NEED TO BLOG.
Mood: ..I ated too much pie.
Sound: Mr. Show theme...wee!

I need to get a larger DVD collection. Even hobos named "No DVD Mac" have more than I do. But the ones I do have are very special. The first one I ever got was from my second boyfriend in history named John. He bought me Happy Gilmore for Christmas last year. Come to think of it, we weren't even going out at the time. But I had already gotten his gift a couple o' months in advance (we didn't even bother to surprise each other. We were like 'What do you want for Christmas?' and then got it. Oh sweet romance.)
Then after that I ordered eight Sailor Moon DVD's. I'm such a dork...I would sit there for hours and listen to high-pitched Japanese cartoons and be completely content in doing so. You know, Sailor Moon, while still entertaining, has one of the most idiotic story lines I've ever had the guilty pleasure of indulging in.
Then a little while ago, while on my vacation, I bought Mr. Show: The Complete First Two Seasons and my pride and joy Kids in the Hall: Same Guys, New Dresses.
Oh! Guess what came today! Guess-guess-guess! My Kids in the Hall T-shirt! It is the most fantastical piece of clothing I've ever had the privilege to wear- and it's one-of-a-kind, too! That last part isn't that big of a deal, but I just thought I'd add it anyway.
I'm still madly envious of Averie and Mary...they know why.
Speaking of Averie and Mary, I've been accepted into their little group of comics, The Sit Down Comedy Club.
Mary is really funny. For instance, she instant messaged me a few minutes ago just to say "Hi bye"...I do so love these deep conversations we have together.
And school starts TOMORROW. Mum thought it started last week...well...shows how much mum knows, eh? I really like my teacher. He's left handed (so am I, for anyone who cares...so is Bruce, again for those caring people out there)!
Gramma gave me money...for no reason. Which is nice, I'm not complaining. I'm just wondering if maybe she pick-pocketed someone and is trying to pin it on me. I wonder these kind of things...I'm kooky like that.

RANDOM FACT: The first song played on Armed Forces Radio during operation Desert Shield
was "Rock the Casba" by the Clash.

2002-09-06T22:14:00.000-07:00
BOREDOM AT TEN P.M.
Mood: Hungaree
Sound: Bruce McCulloch- Daves I Know

The website is down. Down for how long, I don't know. For the maybe...two people who enjoyed going there, sorry. But do not lose entire faith in me yet! For in its place shall come an even greater website. I, uh, don't know what that is yet...but it'll be something.
All I know is it'll be better than the old one. I'm learning a few things every day. Like today, for instance, I learned that you can DOWNLOAD new fonts! What the!
All joking aside, I'll be working hard for you devoted fans...
Mum hath bought me a couple of blank tapes! Hurrah! Now I can tape that E! Behind the Scenes of Stealing Harvard thing tomorrow since I missed it the first time. Yeah, I'm dissapointed with me too.

RANDOM FACT: What do cows and cats have in common? They both get hairballs.

Someone who knows how to do frames for websites e-mail me or something. I'm an idiot and need help.

2002-09-06T05:56:00.000-07:00
YAY FOR LATE-NIGHT TV!
Mood: Undetermined
Sound: Faint noise of Newsradio playing downstairs

Fidgeting in my recliner, I grasp the little plastic remote control with one hand, and my drug of choice (Mountain Dew) in the other. The only light in the entire room comes from the telvision across the room. I flip through the channels steadily in rapid fashion. Brandie would be yelling at me if she were here right now. I can understand; I do it at a frequent rate, hardly even taking a moment to see what's on each network. This is my vacation, gulping down soda and catching reruns of Saved by the Bell...oh Zack, you cad. Ha ha ha.
My laziness will come to a screeching halt soon enough though. On monday I'll happily turn in my plaid pajamas and into one of my many pairs of blue jeans, T-shirts, and neck-ties. Schoolness.
I'm in love with Thesaurus option of AOL. I love learning new words, and varients of words as well. I don't know...I'm just a dork that way I suppose.
I got bored and decided to learn to do something. So whilst sitting in before mentioned recliner, I forced myself to cry. Oh, for no reason at all. It was just something I wanted to see if I could accomplish. Must have stemmed from hearing about actors who share this ability. I found it to be actually kind of fun, in a demented sort of way...trying to create faux misery. Getting red-eyed and pretending to be a drama star. It was ironic comedy, folks, and I savored it. Gahd, I'm so weird!

RANDOM FACT: Wuh-oh Steff! In the 1820's, a temperance movement tried to ban coffee- and nearly succeeded.

I should go through the ol' manga collection. I haven't read those in so long. Manga, for those who don't know, is the Japanese type of comic book. I'm madly in love with shoujo and bisoujo manga, like Peach Girl and Card Captor Sakura(it's sah-kuh-rah, not sah-KOO-rah!) ooh, and Mars! I love mah Mars.
I had a daydream a little while ago where a couple of friends and I saw Bruce McCulloch and introduced ourselves, except that we pretended that I was from another country and didn't speak a word of english, except for the one sentence my "hosts" had taught me.
...
Bruce: Hello there.
...
Me: You...are...Telly Tubby!
...
Yeah, why is it that I never seem to make a good first impression with Bruce in my dreams and daydreams?

2002-09-05T17:16:00.000-07:00
WOW...BRUCIO.COM WAS UPDATED.

I certainly do love that website. I wish it were a little more interactive, though. Mr. McCulloch ought to get himself a message board. I wouldn't be rampaging in there every minute with claims that he and I belong together and that only I got what he was trying to say, man. I'll leave that to the unsane. For now, I'll simply be happy the man has updated the site. It's coming along quite nicely, I think. A questions lurks in my mind: did he create it on his own or have someone else do it for him? Well, he talks in the second and third person. Perhaps he just wants the place to have a more professional feel?
Speaking of updates, I'd better get off my bum and get to jazzing up the ol' homepage. Me being the procrastinator I am, haven't really planned anything so the new content will be a surprise for us all!
My jacket and stationary came yesterday. I didn't even know about it until I had my parcel tracked at UPS.com and saw that someone had already signed for it. Whoa!
Me: Gramma, anything come for me in the mail?
...
Gramma: Yes.
....
Exciting, eh? So I tore that bad boy open and ta-dah! There, wrapped thoughtfully in bubble wrap, was my marvelous Spongebob Hooded Sweatshirt along with the other things I ordered from the loverly HT. I shall wear it the first time it gets cold outside.
Oh, going back to Bruce, his album will be out in October. Perfection. I'll be the first in my town to get it, or my name isn't Moe Manky...and it isn't, but I'm still going to be first!
Speaking of Bruce and firsts, add two more people to the "Seeing Stealing Harvard on Opening Day" train. Mum and maybe Brandie are coming. But Brandie is a big maybe. She does so detest that Alicia. I did an impression of Allie on the phone the other day and Brandue almost hung up on me. Which means my voices are improving, yay! Ha ha....
Welp, more later. I'm going to converse with Steff now.

2002-09-03T06:34:00.000-07:00
'morning readers.
I read this in my good friend Dennis' Dead Journal a little while ago and I want to remember it.

" I'll repeat what I said yesterday since you don't remember... There is a little known technique similar to visualization that may help get the things you want. It essentially programs your mind for success. It's called Neurophysiology of achievement. This has worked for me in many ways but don't expect this to be the goose that laid the golden egg!

We'll take baby steps... take some time to reflect and think about what you "REALLY" want your life to be like in one year, or even six months but then you'll have to be willing to do this process all over again when you achieve your goal. Find a quiet spot and picture it... see it, smell it, taste it... you need to get to the point where you can visualize it with your eyes open and "KNOW" this is what life will be like. Be realistic about it, don't solve world hunger or cancer or anything like that. Think about your life style, the clothes you'll wear, the food you'll eat (at home or the restaurants you'll eat at), the car you might get (not a Ferrari or I'll be jealous!). Once you can do that, you need to set up the plan in your mind about "HOW" you will make it happen. Again, you have to be realistic. Don't think about winning the lottery to solve all your problems... doesn't work that way for white folk. Although if you do win, don't forget about your Uncle P! How will you get a job, where, doing what, how will you get there, what will you do. Don't think about rejection, think success. You need to lay the foundation vividly. For me I have gotten good enough at this that I can feel the changes internally and everything I do it toward the result I want. You will start to inherently do things automatically to work towards your goal. After a while decisions you make will become nearly automatic towards bringing you to your goal. You will become motivated (maybe obsessed) with one thing in mind... your goal. Now my personality is type "A" and that's the way I am naturally... I have never recommended this or mentored this technique with anyone else. I have used these techniques with Mark Johnson during many conversations we've had but never informed him what I was doing... look at what he has done for himself! He is successful and has everything he has ever wanted (materialistically, professionally and relationship wise). Now he was pretty motivated to begin with but his life was really fucked up and he made a complete 180 in a matter of months... you can too. YOU HAVE JUST GOT TO WANT IT AND BE COMMITTED TO FOLLOW THE PROCESS THROUGH!! "

I know, I know. He sort of sounds like one of those guys who try and pitch a crazy product on an infomercial late at night (believe me, I've seen quite a few), but I think that this theory is pretty cool. Thank you Dennis for publishing your uncle's letter to you.
I'm getting pretty excited about school...which starts in about four hours. He he. I think we're just going to be filling out paperwork and picking up my books today, but whatever. I hope that I'll at least meet a couple of new people through Independent Study whom I can befriend. No offense to any of my friends who I met over the 'net...but I don't really need any more of you. He he.
Gramma is taking me out to Denny's after school! Not a big deal, but I love buffalo wings and you can get 'em anytime there. So shut up.
Guess what? I think I dislike Degrassi: the next generation(sp?), that show on Noggin. Yes, I know. It's a Canadian show. Big fooking deal. No matter what nation it hails from, it's still a pretty idiotic show. The actors...ugh. I must use the term 'actors' loosely because they hardly do it all. I must admit that two of the girls in the cast have some talent, but the others have the performing ability of maple trees, eh? Plus the "realistic" themes that they pass for storylines are nothing but shock topics...ones that were mostly used up on the FOX show Boston Public. And the cast on THAT show were able to pull the themes off. I'm not being biased at all. I have never thought of America as better than other countries....so don't think that's what my problem is. Degrassi is just a show I don't care for. That's all.
Don't agree? E-mail my ass and give me an arguement. But I am known for my blows to the shins- so look out!
In other news: my grandfather has agreed to lend me two of his neckties. They are kick-ass, says I. I plan to wear one to school today. Mum didn't think this was the greatest of ideas. "People already think you're a boy. Now they'll have another reason to!"
Right mum...what with my jaw-length hair, G.I.R. from Invader Zim T-shirt and tennis shoes that spot rainbow laces...I'll be a macho man. Indeed.

2002-09-03T05:45:00.000-07:00
Okay. You might notice a few changes around here. Um, first off, after a small period of indecision, I came to the conclusion that I didn't like the way I was using this blog. It was more a message board to talk to my friends and peers while in reality I had initially created this damn thing to log my thoughts and dreams of the moment. So I deleted the old Katio Show and now this will be used as an actual journal. I might get deep and philosophical at times, but don't let it scare you. I haven't changed. In fact- this might be your first glimpse of how this cynical, sarcastic and downright crazy adolescent really works. So...if you're not ready to handle the fact that I won't be filling out any more little surveys or posting a million useless and stupid test results...um, go to another blog.
Now on to the post:
Well, school starts tomorrow. I have to wake up at the crack of nine o’clock in the morning. My sleeping habits are so horrible. I must admit that if it weren’t me, you know, if I were only a witness to someone else with similar traits…I would be worried. Mum uses sleeping as a tool for her depression and I wouldn’t like to think that I am becoming like that. It’s most probably that I’m not, though. I do go to bed at ungodly hours and so of course I can’t be leaping from the trundle at a decent a.m., can I? No. So I’ll just have to push some discipline on myself to get to sleep at earlier times.
I desperately desire to perform well in school this year. Independent Study might be just the trick to “getting back on the horse” as some might say. But many say- no, think- that I’m nothing more than a dropout. Worry not, dear reader. I’ll show them. Academics shall become my number one priority, with my imminent career trailing shortly behind. Jesus, I’m already a bookworm …why not let it work to my advantage for once?
Brandie has moved back in with her mother. I don’t know what to make of this yet. I received a single e-mail from her yesterday morning telling me that she would no longer have Internet access and that I was to call her after school today. All right. I hope she’s made the right decision. I look back upon life with her mother as tragic, if you can imagine. A horrible excuse of a stepfather (I suppose he can be considered one although they’re not yet married) who pelts poor Brandue with mental abuse about her weight and her dreams. I, for one, do not tolerate the man at all. If given the choice, I’ll avoid him. If I were the fighting type, he would have gotten what he deserves long ago. But alas, I am not violent to say the least and simply rejoiced with Brandie when she decided to move in with me…and then in with her father. Oh, don’t take that pause as something negative, no. It’s just that she did do quite a lot of moving around. She’ll be attending her third school in less than a year tomorrow. I am not shooting her down at all. I’m just…worried.
But with so many worries fluttering ‘round in my head…don’t you believe it would be hard to sleep? Ah, irony. You art not so sweet….yah bitch. He he, see I haven’t changed a bit.
I close for now and promise a larger post tomorrow- with a review of my first day of school!

G’night.